Baby Bumpers

I'm such a c u next tuesday, if you know what I mean.

I just wanted to stuff my face with Doritos in peace.

“I’m such a Debbie Downer….So you want to do drugs with my Dad?!”

—   Bibs
And we’re off to Bonnaroo!

And we’re off to Bonnaroo!

Musikanto/The Staves at The Parish

“So I was going to text you last night because I realized something! YOU’RE OBSESSED WITH BLACK MEN! Frank Ocean, Kanye West….Tyler, The Creator!”

—   Morgan
My friends are assholes.

Me:

So don't freak out....

Rachel:

You lost your virginty.

Me:

Yes, but that's not it.

Rachel:

Yes, I'll take you to planned parenthood and yes, you can live with me. We can both raise the baby, but you can't steal my baby names.

Me:

WHAT? No! Oh my god! Girls! I like girls! That's what I wanted to tell you!

Rachel:

Oh I thought you were going to say you were pregnant!

Always a lady.