Baby Bumpers

I hate Mother’s Day.

Everybody bitches about Valentine’s Day, calling it “Single Awareness Day” What’s the difference? Mother’s Day is basically “You Dont Have A Mom Awareness Day”

1 week ago -

1

And once again, I win “Best iPhone Case”

1 month ago

Cazwell “All over your face”

I was sitting in bed reading and eating a apple turnover when this song came on.

Wut?

1 month ago -

1

Lana Del Rey “You can be the boss”

1 month ago -

5

I have to work at 7am.

It’s currently 1:46am.

1 month ago

Man, I’m fucking hilarious.

1 month ago -

1

I had this girlfriend who at first I didn’t like very much.. er, I didn’t take her very seriously I guess. She just seemed like, you know, a piece of ass. But she was persistent, man, and she just hung around and hung around and showed up at my place and gradually it started to feel better when she was there. It wasn’t love the way I imagined it, I just felt weird if I didn’t know what she was up to or whatever. And I liked knowing that she was just gonna be there and warm and staying the night and she acted like I was teaching her everything. About fucking history and about sex, she didn’t know what street central park started on or how to use soap and I showed her. And I wanted that chance to show someone everything, but she changed her mind about me and it was that fast. I’m just so exhausted.

Adam “Girls”

2 months ago

2 months ago -

1

Just a little Alamo Drafthouse bathroom wisdom.

3 months ago -

1